My Heart Was Drowning, But Here’s How I Saved It

I’m going to come clean. Depression is the worst thing that can happen in a person’s life.

We start growing up and realize that, all the fairytales & fantasies of falling in love are not all ‘happily ever afters’. The harsh reality ladies and gentlemen, no matter how much we try to hide away from love’s satisfaction and heartaches, pain is inevitable. What else could be worst, is how we are left in this world to face and cope up with it.

So, under my blanket of tears, doubts, fears and lack of self-love. I’m back on my feet and decided to write about motivating myself and to the dearly affected.

This letter is dedicated to those who fell into the black hole of the dreaded state of melancholy who,

  • cried and wept, twice as hard like how I did;
  • shut themselves away from the world, like how I did;
  • hurt themselves by blaming, doubting and hurting, just like how I did;
  • complained and questioned pain, just like how I did.
  • thought poorly about their decisions or may have regretted actions, just as how I did

    And above all, those who stayed true to the one they love.

I ended 2017 and started 2018, completely broken.

My heart sank, it drowned up to the deepest floor of the ocean. At that time, nothing stood afloat except for the remaining love I spared for what was left to love.

For a moment I thought my world was doing fine. Friends & family believed that the relationship was making a breakthrough, by making the best out of the distance and space that challenged us. A breather moment that determined the misunderstandings that were faced and how both parties were unaware of what the heart and mind was really trying to say.

As the saying goes, “If you really love the person, you let them go.” One of the most cliché and subjective advices about being in love, which is the sad truth.

My heart was drowning, and indeed it still is. I mourned the pain of letting go of someone endearing to me for a “better” future. I came to realize that, this was not a “high school fling” or “puppy love”. We weren’t kids anymore but a growing couple that did not care about anything in the world except for the happiness that was shared.

“His love made me believe that above everything and anyone else, nothing compares. The love that was equally shared with imperfections, but fought entirely until realized.”

For the first time in my life, I gave myself in to the situation and settled to see where our lives will live up to, and until when we can keep this separation. Until where we can find our happiness, either together or separately.



Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.